


Red is the Colour of Your Hair

by Eluvian



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Olin's House, before the final battle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23584969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eluvian/pseuds/Eluvian
Summary: Aloy cannot really bring herself to sleep before the battle, but luckily she gets a visitor.
Relationships: Aloy/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

There were only hours left.

It was impossible to comprehend, so Aloy did not even try to do so. A few hours left until she can make right what went wrong a thousand years before.

As she grew up, time became quicker and quicker over the years. She was 19 now. She often found that she had barely done anything she planned for a day. And that was only her daily routine. That concept had ceased to exist.

She had no idea how she would manage all this.

She knew her mind would not let her sleep, but also that it was vital that she tried to do it. Only a few times had she decided to face a great challenge without sleeping, and all of the times it felt horrible, and the results were questionable as well. She had to go to sleep, unless… the whole world might die because of her stupid brain.

She had to calm herself down and pretend that all she found out had already been known to her for months. It would make things easier. She tried to focus on small details. Strategy. Planning the next day.

She had doubts about sleeping in Olin’s house. She did find it in her heart to pity him, and even feel some sympathy for him, yet – it was not her house. All the memories that connected to that place were that of misery and sadness.

And Erend.

His pleas for her to help him find his sister. Little had she known back then that they would find Ersa alive… Just to see him die in Erend’s arms in that horrible place.

Mixed feelings, absolutely. But she had nowhere else to go.

Her thoughts lingered a bit about that day as she opened the door and entered the all-too-familiar house. The door creaking. Alone.

Just like always.

She sighed, deeply. She adjusted some of her ginger hair behind her ears, then walked up the stairs and placed her accessories and weapons around it, so close that if the need arose she could reach her bow and arrow easily. Adjusting them was mechanical enough for her to calm down a little, but she knew and end would come to this and eventually she had o do what she dreaded most.

Lie on a bed and sleep.

She tried not to think that it was Olin’s bed, but it would not go out of her mind. After all she had seen, objects had a kind of _memory._ It was attached to them and she could not just push it away. This house belonged to a man who had a family, who feared for his family and…

Ugh. Why couldn’t they just assign a room for her which was like the ones the soldiers slept in? Of course, they thought it would be more comfortable, a house where she can be all alone, and they were right, and this was kind and she should have been grateful. Nonetheless…

She covered her face with her hands.

_Stop being stupid now. Do what you have to do. Many things depend on it. Just… shut up, mind._

She awkwardly placed herself on the bed, realising she hadn’t even removed her clothes. She scoffed angrily, realizing the clothes were one matter, but her hair was another. She made her hairstyle with exhausting precision, always, in a way that her stubborn locks would not disturb her during sneaking and battle, but at the end of the day it was more comfortable to let them roam free.

Happy that she found an activity to do before bed, she started to untangle the red braids.

***

Erend did not want to drink. He really didn’t.

But he knew that he would have no courage whatsoever without it, so he decided he would allow himself a few glasses. Just a few.

His men luckily avoided joking about him, for which he was very grateful. They minded their own business. He gave them a few speeches, which contained more hopes than reality, they shouted their fake courage into the void, and then went on to sleep. Probably.

That was what he should have done. But he had something else in mind.

When there are chances you – and the whole world – will die the next day, usually people have something else in mind, he thought. When else, if not now? He only needed a few words. A last glance.

Damn, he was being _that_ kind of romantic again.

Doubts coiled up his spine again, as they have several times that day. After all, she’s only seen so little of him. And the other way round. Still, he wanted this to change.

_If we die tomorrow, there will be no chance. Come on, man up, you idiot._

For some reason he imagined this sentence in his sister’s voice. Oh, how wonderful it would be if she were here now. Erend clenched his fist, partly because of his sister, partly because of his anger at himself.

_Coward._

_What would she think of me if I just turned up with nothing?_

What would he even say? “I came to talk”?... Probably she has more important things to attend to before a battle than some chitchat.

 _Although that is not just chitchat that you want, is it?_ , a voice whispered in his head and he silenced it angrily.

He poured down one last sip of wine and decided that nothing could be worse than spending this night with the thought that he hadn’t done everything.

_Everything. Well. Little will my presence change in her life, but maybe it will help ease my mind. That is something._

With every step the doubts grew stronger. He kept checking whether there was anyone watching where he went. Damn, he hoped all of his men were sleeping. No use of them whispering and gossiping right now. But last he saw them, they were really scared. They didn’t want to show it but they were very scared, faced with a threat they did not know and did not understand.

_She can still send me away and then it will all be over._

At the next moment he thought bitterly, _Coward._

There he was. Olin’s house, right at the entrance, now all he needed was the courage to actually step in.

He sighed. What could go wrong? He raised his hand and knocked, trying to silence the forever-appearing imaginary sentences in his mind about what he would say once faced with Aloy.

Faced. Like she was… some kind of… enemy. Has he always been such a coward or was this world-ending have an especially bad impact on him?

He knocked, three times. Nothing. _Maybe there is a problem? An accident? A trap? Oh, damn it, why did they send her to an abandoned house where anyone could lay a trap… Or… wait. It is late already. maybe she went to sleep, and the bed is upstairs._

With that clear, he opened the door, and found out the deduction was right. The ground floor was empty, same as before, all the objects in their usual places.

He felt like a trespasser.

He could still turn back. But that would be running away… literally.

He decided to head for the stairs not minding how red his whole face was. _I have been drinking, of course it is hot and red._ That’s what he was going to answer if she noted that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dislaimer to the game, the part I wrote with italic contains dialogues that are taken exactly from the game, except the two words at the very end. xD

Aloy immediately reached for her bow when she heard someone enter. _Damn, they try to kill me in my sleep, or-_

There was something about these steps though. They sounded familiar. Unfortunately she hadn’t spent so much time with the individual she thought they belonged to – but she grew to recognize people only based on how they moved, and she had a wild guess…

She did not let go of the bow though. She shifted to the wall and took step after step, closer to the stairs with her back to the wall until her suspicions were proven right.

When Erend looked at him, she had no idea which one of them was more startled.

He was expecting to see a woman lying in a bed, not standing alert with her bow in hand.

She was expecting… She had no idea what she was expecting. But not exactly him. She had only hoped… Did she? She was not sure now.

After the sudden shock they both chuckled.

“Gosh, Aloy, you scared me.”

 _This was certainly not how I planned this_ , Erend thought. _Wait. I did not plan this at all._

“S-sorry.” She laughed awkwardly, then put down the bow. After Erend kept looking at something right from her face, she realised her hair was only half undone. She did not begin explaining though, unless asked, there was no need.

“I’m sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to-“

“You’re not disturbing. I… couldn’t sleep anyway.” _Not that I tried so hard._

Erend was grateful for this sentence as he had no idea how to finish his.

Aloy was grateful that she got the chance to talk to somebody. So relieved. And also a bit troubled, because she was in the middle of messing with her hair, which was an intimate task. But it could wait.

“Good. I mean it’s not good that you couldn’t… whatever.”

“Something bothering you?” Aloy asked, concern in her big, green but warm eyes.

“You could say that.”

“Can I help?”

He didn’t expect her to be so… eager.

“Uhm… I mean of course something bothers me. We’re about to face something we can’t even name and there’s a chance that we are all going to die, together with the whole world. Other than that, not much. And that’s the end of me talking about what you already know”, he raised his hands, signifying that he did not want to continue this topic.

She just nodded. Silently. She could not pretend it was easy for her anymore. She didn’t want to.

“So I wanted to have a talk with you before it ends. If it ends. I mean I do not think it will. But if it does, I just… did not want to go to battle without seeing you first.”

After a while the words came easily, surprising him. He avoided Aloy’s gaze though.

She chuckled, thinking back with a heavy hart to all the secrets she has found. She suddenly wanted to tell him all that. Maybe he wouldn’t understand, at first, but still, she wanted to tell somebody, share this secret with someone who was not Sylens, that soulless bastard who only cared about his profit and whatever he needed all this information for…

Erend did not know what to make of her silence, but it made him feel uncomfortable.

“But you… obviously you need rest, so-“

“No… Rest can wait.” She sighed heavily. “I would say get comfortable but this isn’t really my home, so… Well, anyway, get comfortable”, she tried to smile, gesturing around in the room.

Erend found a smaller bed that was not the one in the middle of the room, which obviously Aloy wanted to use for sleeping. So he headed to the smaller one and sat down in a quite uncomfortable position, but he didn’t care, they couldn’t just talk standing straight in a room, could they?

“So how are your men?”, she asked, sitting on the larger bed, facing him.

A neutral topic. A topic which can go on until she figures out what she should do.

“They, uh… They will be fine. They are scared, of course, but also curious and they want to show they can beat everything. And that is what they should feel, because I don’t know how else can we defeat this… whatever.”

This whatever. She knew fine well what it was. But could she tell him? Could she tell him right now, even if it would mean his whole view of the world would shatter in a second?

Although they say you must know your enemy.

“You know about it, don’t you? More than you are saying.”

“That is true. I… I don’t know if I should tell you know. It would not be easy to accept and you need to concentrate tomorrow.”

He was curious. “So do you.”

“True. But I didn’t have a choice, and you do.”

“Then I choose to know”, he said, more cheerfully then he felt, and smiled. Aloy looked at him and this worldly smile made her even sadder, as she was about to introduce him to a world that was gone…

So she told him. About the previous world. About the stupid man who built warrior robots that could eat living things, and who, eventually, devoured the Earth. About the software that was built to eliminate everything again. About the knowledge they were meant to receive but didn’t. About the red haired woman who tried to save Life. Who was, actually, herself.

Sitting on a bed, her hand resting on her thighs, her gaze staring into the distance, her body trying to keep back the tears that wanted to fall down when she thought of those people.

“She was… you?”

Aloy nodded. “She and I are genetically the same. She… died protecting them.”

“Damn…”

That was probably not the deepest and best reply he could give to all this. First he tried to deny this all, finding some explanation how all she said could be utter nonsense. Maybe the result of some kind of drug, or some really vivid bad dream, or something that shiny blue thing next to her ear does… Who knows how people can influence that stuff.

But… something was coming for them and it was dangerous.

“I know this is hard to accept, but this is the truth. It is not people we have to blame. It is just a machine that does its job. Only… that job is misunderstood.”

Aloy felt relieved. Saying it out loud make it all feel more real.

“And they worship it like some kind of god…”

Erend buried his face in his hands. The world around him was spinning. All of the reality he knew felt like it was fading away, shifting. A moment before, he was a tired drunkard talking to a beautiful girl before a fight – a very important fight, but still, a fight – and now he learned about an old world that just… died. Without a trace. Well, not without a trace, but most of it was gone. Forever.

And this girl was in the middle of it all. She had to solve this because she _was_ actually one of the people one thousand year before who recreated life.

And her beautiful eyes were shining almost with tears.

Of course…

He could not let her carry this weight alone. And she trusted him enough to share it.

“Aloy…”

She tried to hide behind something, to appear strong and untouched but she just kept hearing their voices. In the dark, purple corridors, her only companion being Sylens, who only used her.

“These… children. I heard their voice. They weren’t allowed outside, they were kept there to study but the knowledge that was meant for them… the data was corrupted. They… they painted the walls.”

She didn’t know why she spoke. She clenched her fists as Erend stood up and walked closer to her, taking his place next to her on the bed. He was not good at comforting but she wanted to do something for her… to make it all easier.

Or he wanted to exploit the situation that she showed “weakness”. No, she was not weak. She was everything but weak, but surely she thought that she was. Aloy was a warrior and that kind never liked to show such feelings…

Erend felt special.

“I hope it helped you understand. I am sorry, I… haven’t told this to anyone.”

Her voice was shaking in a way he never heard before. But it did not make him pity her; it made him want to protect her.

“This must have been horrible to see and hear. For the first time. I-“ _Wish I was there with you,_ he wanted to say, but didn’t _. Coward._

Aloy’s eyes were shut, small drops of tears finding their way out. Erend slowly raised his arm and placed it on her shoulder, pulling her close, gently, hoping she would not push him away, but imagining it so that it would not shock him so much…

She didn’t push him away. “Thank you”, she said softly. She trusted him enough not to feel horribly ashamed of what she was doing. This night would be perfect… if they did not have a battle to win tomorrow. For the first time after a long while, she wanted to run away from her responsibilities. She wanted all this horrible past to just not exist. Or to forget it all. And she was not alone with that.

But if she had no choice but to accept it, she was glad to have someone by her side.

He pulled her even closer, experimenting how close she wanted to be and after a while she leant closer, resting her face on his shoulder. She hasn’t felt so close to anyone. Ever.

Not having a mother it was not a surprise, after all.

All the coldness, she wanted to close out. All these memories were nothing but cold. But it seemed so distant now, feeling a man’s warm body next to him, comforting arms hugging her close as if she was a child, to be protected. As if she were _weak._ Could she be _weak_ for a little while?

On the other hand it was a hard task to face these feelings and share them, which made her strong.

While trying to retrieve her self-esteem she did not even realize how long they sat like that. Then Erend’s hands moved to bind with hers. Their fingers slid amongst each other and connected like a strong chain.

Was he…

She’s never…

Was this the best time…

Although it was not sure there _was_ any time left.

She breathed in his scent. He did drink some, but not much, certainly less than on that special day when she entered Meridian. Other than that, it was… foreign, but pleasant.

He breathed in her scent. Soft and sweet and very nature-like. Reminded him of some flower he did not know the name of.

His hand freed itself and traced her face, wiping away the half-dried tears. She chuckled, half ashamed, half relieved. The sound of her laughter was vivid after long minutes of listening to only her breathing and heartbeat. It woke him up. He did not believe he was doing this. He didn’t even say anything…

He wanted to. Like offering he would leave if his presence was not required. But that was evidently not the case and he did not want to go.

Or tell her how much he liked her. But she probably knew that already. Besides, this position and silence was too precious to break with any word.

Finally Aloy broke it, softly raising her head from Erend’s shoulders.

“I am… I am okay. Thank you for listening to me.”

“Well, thank you for telling me”, he answered silently and honestly. She liked the tone of his voice at these times. Concerned, caring.

She turned her head so that he had a perfect view at her huge eyes.

“So, talking about the world ending, me crying on your shoulder – satisfied yet?”, she teased, not knowing where the courage came from. Although it did sound more like her usual self.

Erend was shocked. _Satisfied yet? Well…_

Her teasing voice, light and joking. Her mischievous look. Yet there was something serious about it, the last few minutes had not vanished without a trace.

“I, uh… I would not say exactly…” He wondered how red is face looked. Damn, this woman made him speechless in a second.

Not that he talked a lot before…

She chuckled. She was adorable… Was she just playing, or…? No, those tears were real. She had really opened up, she could not be ruining all this now.

“You know, I’m really glad I came here tonight.”

“I’m glad too. Remember when you said I could spare you a moment or two?”

She was really doing this. She was really reminding him of this moment, she wanted him to go back to that exact moment and she… wanted it to happen again.

***

_“So what’s next for Erend Vanguardsman?”_

_The moment that sentence leaves her mind she feels it is forced, but she finds no better way to ask him what his plans are. It feels awkward. Saying goodbye always feels awkward. Her tasks already flood her mind, but… she just does not want to give in to them yet. There is so much they could talk about that is not death and their mission. She wishes she didn’t have to continue her journey, deep down. But that is laziness. That is something she should avoid, so she hides that thought deep._

_“Going back to the claim for a while…”, Erend replies, hesitantly. “I’ll get in touch with my clan and we’ll lay Ersa to rest properly.” His voice descends, silent and hurt, the pain will not be eased for a while, no matter how much he smiles and drinks._

_She bets he will drink far too much after all this. For some reason this makes her nervous. Angry. And concerned._

_But she has her own tasks to do._

_“Like how she would’ve wanted. And by that I mean… less chit-chat, more drinking.”_

What was I saying _, Aloy thought._

_“What do you think the Oseram will do to Dervahl?”_

_She has an idea in mind._

_“First off, they’ll argue about it for a long time. But whatever they come up with, it won’t be quick”, Erend noted. “I can live with that”, he added. “In fact I might just drop by his cell under the Sun Ring to remind him what’s coming.”_

_She can imagine all that hatred he’s feeling. Revenge is something unhealthy but very strong of an urge in people._

_She does not want to support it, nor state that he should not feel like it, so silence is the only option._

_An awkward silence, again._

_“Well…”, she breathes in slowly. Time to say goodbye, at last._

_“I know. You’ve gotta go.”_ And what’s wrong with that? Could I do anything else?! – _a voice in her head inquires. “Killers to track, Machines to master. All before breakfast.” She’s not certain but there seems to be a resignation in his voice. She wants to protest, but Erend continues. “You know what? When we first met, I thought I was a big shot talking to a pretty girl hidden away in the middle of nowhere. Now I see that I was just lucky to get a minute of your time.”_

Oooh, no, you don’t do that. You do not go on calling me a hero and degrade yourself, we are not playing that game!

_On the other hand, the compliment does make her feel warm and soft and… WEAK, in a good sense._

_“Try not to forget about me… while you’re out there changing the world.”_

_He says that as if he really knows how important this is. And he’s only seen a glimpse of it. And probably won’t see more…_

_Damn, she hates saying goodbyes._

_She looks up into his eyes, lakes of bright honesty and the softness of his words…_

_“I’ll always have a minute for you.” No, that’s not enough. Definitely not enough. “Maybe… even two.”_

Congratulations, Aloy, you just made the biggest fool of yourself.

_She should feel horrible and awkward but she does not. Maybe it does not matter that she cannot form normal sentences that fit the context._

_“Two? Ha! She likes me.”_

_She only recognizes now that she has a grin on her face. She has no idea when she smiled so much last._

_Suddenly everything seems so clear and easy. She tries to shove away the bittersweet atmosphere of all this being a goodbye and decides to make the most of the moment. She steps, then leans forward and plants a kiss on his cheek, negligent of his surprise._

_“She does.”_

***

“…yeah?” Erend asked in a questioning voice, raising an eyebrow. It sounded promising. Does it? She would not make a joke out of it, will she? _Please no._

“I did keep my word.”

“…oh? That’s… good to hear.” It is half a question, half a statement.

Her presence felt warm. The memory of danger seemed to drift away as he got lost in her huge green eyes which just had the perfect shape. Not that “perfect” existed, but she was beautiful. Her hair just a few shades lighter than his, half braided, half let out to caress her shoulders.

He realised his eyes lingered too much away from her eyes when she touched his chin slightly with her fingers. Their eyes met for a split second before their faces became to close to be able to see anything. So he closed them, as her lips touched his. A familiar, yet new sensation. The memory of that previous kiss had haunted him for months, but that was different. Something he had only hoped for, realizing. Her unique scent all around him. He turned so that he would totally face her, hands trailing off onto her shoulders, her waits, not touching too strongly because even though she was obviously strong, she felt precious and fragile to him, better handled with care and caution and not just taken in an instant and hungrily, like his instincts usually told him to. Damn those instincts, he knew he would take care of her, giving her all the gentleness she deserves, because surely he wanted her hungrily, but she also was someone special that deserved a little patience.

Crazy, his body was.

There was something dark and fatalistic in what she felt, yet it seemed like one of the brightest moments of her life. If she saw it like that… so easy. So simple. She felt like they needed to grasp to those few hours that they had and no more secrets were allowed.

Her breathing grew quicker and her body warmer, as his hands caressed her body. He found his way back to her hair which was still undone and his fingers managed to find their way between the threads with little difficulty. He was as good at freeing her hair as she thought men were good at freeing women from their clothes. But he did not rush anything. He pulled her close, changing positions so that both of them were on their knees, trying to shove aside the thought of whose bed they were on.

Although it was not that easy.

Aloy waited for the moment when both of them had to create a tiny distance between them to breathe to show her concern.

“I… do not think we should… here…”

_Congratulations on forming full sentences again._

For a short moment she thought she had ruined everything. Not the best moment of her life. But her being gently transported to the ground and being kissed on the neck was a fair compensation. She smiled, arching her back and sliding her hands up all the way on his back, then down again. Her hair, now fully undone, curled around on the floor, but she did not mind it getting a little dirty.

“Aloy…” he sighed into her ears – even her name way a sigh, soft and warm –, sending chills down her spine which made it hard to focus on words.

He wanted to say some more, but he didn’t. It was easier to get lost in her eyes, her lips, her everything. He wanted to say he was sorry they only had a few hours left. That he wanted all this to happen very much, but only later, and slowly, not having to try to win a race with time. That there was no other choice, because if he lost her tomorrow, or if he died tomorrow, this was his only chance to… express what he… damn, to _get_ what he wanted. And he wanted to give, so much. he wanted to be a better man, a man who is able to stay sober and who does not act like a child. Who knows how much time would be needed for that, maybe years still, but if she would be glad to wait that long for him… with him…

He wanted to tell her that normally he would have taken her to places. Anywhere. He would have gazed at the stars with her, talk about all kinds of childhood nonsense, visit cities, lead her to all the good places he knew in Meridian, or anywhere else… And learn about whatever she was doing when she was not here.

There was so little that they knew of each other, it was only enough to make them want more.

He hoped he would get the chance to tell her later. And to carry out these plans later. For now he held on to what he had. And that was more than he could have hoped for.

**Author's Note:**

> More shall arrive soon, I promise, but as always, I am in a race with time. ^^


End file.
